Most of us have been younger than we are now, but only a few of us have ever experienced what I like to call: ‘being a foetus‘. For the small number of us who have been through ‘being a foetus‘, we’ve probably seen a few Disney films in our time. Unfortunately, there are many moments that would’ve gone straight over our tiny, under-developed, shaven heads.
1. Aladdin in a brothel
I bet you missed this one. Here it is quite clear that future ‘Prince Ali‘ winds up under a sex roof. What he does there however, is not shown in the film for copyright reasons.
2. Pinocchio drinks, smokes and gambles when just a boy
In this scene of the 1846 motion picture ‘Pinocchio‘, you can see Pinocchio doing all sorts things for adults and adults alone! You may have seen it, but did you process it? I’d be impressed if your very much non-existent eyes spotted this.
3. Ariel is mermaid
The protagonist in ‘The Little Mermaid’, is in fact a mermaid. Kind of obvious now you’re not a foetus eh?
4. Simba and Nala force Timon and Pumbaa to watch them try anal
Even as a young adult, this is pretty grim, and certainly unexpected from a kids movie. It’s probably lucky you were a foetus for this.
5. This plant
To be honest, you probably didn’t notice anything, let alone this plant in ‘The Sword in the Stone‘.
6. Disney films are a thing
As a foetus, if you were aware of the multibillion-dollar company that is ‘Disney‘ whilst frolicking in the proverbial ‘womb‘, well done, let me buy you a placenta some time.
7. The foetus emblem on The Beast’s shoulder
Apparently in the movie it’s only visible to other foetuses. I don’t particularly see the point, but a great curve-ball from Disney all the same.
8. Life is pain
There’s something so depressing about living on this godforsaken planet. Here we are surrounded by pestilence, famine, war and death whilst Dopey has fucking gems in his eyes like nothing’s wrong. Oh to be an oblivious foetus again.