We asked 4 five-year-olds what they think uni is like

I don’t quite know why we did this survey, it’s really very stupid a little self obsessed; however, the results are astonishing! Here is what came of asking some post-toddlers (not sponsored by the Royal Mail yet) about what they think uni is.

1. Neurosis Charles


“Uni you say? Hmmm, by that I assume you mean the higher education facility: university. I imagine it’s full of those hard working types hitting the books every night, stocking up on knowledge to aid them for future careers. Of course, not without the odd cheat day with a complimentary pint haha!”

2.  Mahmoud Inda-Houd


“Yoonee? Hahaha that sounds kinda funny? Eeeheee yoonee… Why are you so big with a reeaaally big face?”

3.  Cathy “Hoopla” Cath-Lahoop


“Isn’t it like a big house where people like go to eat food and drink and maybe, I dunno, bring some friends or family for a birthday meal? Some of them are nicer than others, there are quite a few near my house which is pretty sweet. Ask me something else about restaurants.”

4.  Stilton McHuffmaguff


“It’s nonstop parties and lots of pissing on lecturers. My big sister said so and she’s 3, but nearly 6ft tall. I’ve also heard that you go into big halls, wear robes with funny hats and receive scrolls. Is that right? Unis and Bar Mitzvahs are interchangeable right?”


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