‘I voted Tory and now I have no friends’ says student

First she voted blue, now she’s feeling blue. Jemima-Jennings Johnson of Manchester Metropolitan University has reportedly lost all her friends after it transpired that she voted Tory at the last General Election. Staying with the youth trends when it comes to political parties can be baffling, so here is The Tap’s guide on having the correct political views to avoid social ostracization. We hope this helps you Jemima-Jennings!

1. Be a Corbyn Supporter

corbyn-voters-1400x788

Currently Corbyn is all the rage. The best way to be sure you make friends in any social situation is simply to raise your glass, suggest a toast and shout ‘I wish Jeremy Corbyn was my dad’. Supposedly he’s trendy because he’s not actually trendy at all, which is apparently trendy nowadays but that just doesn’t make sense.

2. Vote Leave

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An unpopular and unusual choice to make friends for some young people, but like Slytherin House it is said that one finds true and real friends if you join the dark side. Bond over the fact you don’t want the EU to ban menthol cigarettes, or that you’re interested in how the UK can now explore trading agreements with South America. Go on! It’ll be a rollercoaster ride to Mars and back!

3. Vote Liberal Democrat

key_libdems-activists

No-one hates a Lib Dem voter. Close enough to Labour to call them a comrade, close enough to the Conservatives to form an alliance. Your favourite teacher at school probably voted Lib Dem too so there’s really no downside!

4. Just Don’t Tell People Who You Vote For Because Politics Is A Personal And Private Choice

Girl Telling A Secret To Her Friend

It’s really that easy. If you don’t want to tell people, then don’t tell people! You’ll end up looking really cool this way anyway because of your political mystique.

We hope this helps you, our wonderful and illustrious readers.

 

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