Game of Thrones. Supplier of random casualties and confiscator of social interaction. We’ve all watched it, but only some of us remember doing so. Here’s the tale of University of Manchester student, Dodge Pidge-Podgeford, who somehow managed to stomach 6 seasons of Game of Thrones and 8 litres of HBO’s own brand ‘The Mountain Dew‘ in one sitting.
Now before this Summer, Dodge had always misheard all his friends throwing about names of characters such as Tyrannous Banister, Thai-Win Canister and Geoff. This all sounded incredibly fascinating so he just had to find out what all the fuss was about, when he could get round to it of course…
Locked away in his putrid, stagnant bedroom and 20 hours in with season 3 about to be devoured, Dodge started getting calls from his friends and family wondering where he was. He didn’t care. He had new friends like Dead Spark, Raisin Bran and Clogged Arteries from all the nachos and Galaxy bars. 45 hours in with season 4 bubbling away, dissolving his corneas, he looked at his phone absentmindedly. Being a previously very popular chap, Dodge had a whopping 15 texts and 23 missed calls from names he just didn’t recognise anymore. “What is ‘mum’? Who is Carla?” he mused, baffled, uncaring.
After the 60 hour stint, Dodge fell asleep instantly, no Haulix required. Waking up 20 hours later, he decided to leave his ‘stank den’ and brave the real world like he used to do back in the day. Only this time with no friends because he missed John’s massive birthday party that everyone who’s anyone went to.
Here’s to Dodge.