In a desperate attempt to squeeze a little bit more money out of the pockets of teenage boys, Marvel Comics have created a new superhero called Manspider. The plot tells the story of a impoverished young spider, who is bitten by a deadly radioactive man, but instead of dying, the spider inexplicably gains superpowers specific only to humans. It’s a brilliant idea to be honest, and inspired The Tap to come up with some of our own amazing superheroes:
1. Dead Parents Man
One man, haunted by the death of his parents begins an adventure that will change his life forever. He will become the most powerful superhero of them all, weaponising his grief into something unimaginable!
2. Captain Straight
Does he have what it takes to be straight? In this film we see a man battle his homosexual inner demons to find out whether he is actually straight. Tempted by fate, or seduced by justice. You’ll probably wait until it’s on DVD.
3. Wondering Woman
Watch a woman wonder about something banal for 2hours 24minutes.
4. Crime Kid
This young man thinks he’s a superhero, when in fact he’s just a juvie searching for higher meaning. Will he succeed in facing up to the law? No. No-one can. Or can they?
5. The Police
These guys are so good they get paid to fight crime! Watch them fight petty crime and eat donuts in a rom-com horror thriller.
6. The Real Heroes Here
There’s no film, but you might find these guys in the cinema, or the shopping mall, or your house. The saviours of our society, they do whatever it takes, whenever it takes, whoever it takes.