Old man in Up killed wife to go on illustrious holiday in South America

Up was a childhood classic for so many, but the time has come to absolutely ruin it for you. Maybe you thought it was a nice film, a good story, alas no! It was terrible from start to middle to end and The Mighty Tap shall now tell you why:

1. The old man actually poisoned his wife to go on an illustrious holiday in South America

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Never trust a man that keeps his eyes open. Little does his poor frail wife know that in her steamy cup of tea is a shot of polonium, cyanide, rosemary and vodka! She didn’t stand a chance.

2. The husband kidnapped a small boy which was very irresponsible!

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He literally tied the boy to his house! Unimaginable! Unsurprisingly the boy got Stockholm Syndrome and grew to love the old man. Trust me, you don’t want to watch ‘Up 2 – The Erection Selection’, it’s a very different film indeed. 

3. The dog was a slave to a cruel master

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That poor, poor dog. Little did he know that in the next scene he would be sent into the enemy base as a suicidal sacrifice to wipe them out. You thought the collar was just a translation device? You naive child.

4. The theme tune was the best thing about the whole film anyway 

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You probably didn’t know that this man here, Michael Giacchino, wrote the fabulous music in Up despite looking like a total wanker. If you wish to relive the sweet melody, I have kindly provided the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

 5. Balloons can’t lift houses

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You are such a child. Grow up.

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