Thinking of doing some good old fashioned revision for those pesky, bleak, midwinter exams? Stop. Or at least stop until you’ve read this article, you may find something that takes your fancy.
1. Make a mind map then eat it
Mind maps are a great way to consolidate useful information in one place, ultimately making it easier to remember facts and figures by imprinting the map in your brain, ready to be recalled. But actually ingesting the mind map gives the content you wish to learn a one way ticket to your ‘stomach memory‘, which can beat your normal memory at bareknuckle boxing with no arms.
2. Take regular breaks
Whether it’s gazing out of the window or tattooing your face on your face but slightly smaller, getting away from the books every 6 days or so is proven to be nothing but beneficial.
3. Underline and highlight with different colours
I personally like a good black highlighter me.
4. Have a calculated cry
You think all hope is lost. You’d rather have fingers the size of your arms and only be able to say the word “avocado” for the rest of your life than take these damned exams. Just let it out. Let those tiers of tears tear through those sorry eyes of yours and you’ll feel good to go in weeks.
5. Ask ‘Intellect Todd’ for his overkill comprehensive notes
He will inevitably push his massive glasses up with his index finger, do a little sniff, almost like a twitch, caress his feeble, patchy stubble, and tell you to “fuck off“. Luckily, just being in the great man’s presence for a few agonising seconds is enough to get you that dreamy low 2:1.
6. Put on lots of weight due to stress and boredom
If you’re sitting there, wearily scouring your shoddy notes with nothing going in, then it’s time to head to the so called fridge. Eating copious amounts of shit shocks your system into revision mode, making you a ham slice and minstrel filled scholarly nightmare. With a bigger tum, you can also eat more mind maps, so it’s a win win really.
7. Sweat glue
If you can do this, call me.
8. Find a nice study space to do your work
If the old learn-a-roo ain’t going to plan, maybe you’re just doing it in the wrong scenario. Maybe you need to try a new place to settle down, be it a field, 1942 Nazi Germany, your neighbour’s bin, Prysm or even the dark side of the moon, all that matters is for you find the right atmosphere for your studies.
9. Procrastinate till kingdom come
Forget what the big wigs say. Procrastination is a sure fire way to pass your imminent exams, providing they’re on juggling badly, putting the kettle on or wishing you were dead.
10. Get a good sleep before the exam
I think this is the funniest one.
Stay tuned for ’10 Helpful Exam Techniques for your January Exams’.